The Sorceress of Balmaghi
Kun Dorn knew something was wrong when he saw the hamster rolling along in a globe of crystal. He exchanged a puzzled glance with Allin and Teryllen. Getting into the castle had been simple enough. The guards were ridiculously easy to bribe, and once inside they had followed the maps the princess had given Allin. But then everything had begun to go wrong…
The place was a maze. Half the corridors weren’t on the map, and the ones that were contained surprises. You expected that in the castle of an evil sorceress, but some of them were so weird Kun Dorn began to regret he’d ever agreed to come here. First there had been the collection of carnivorous plants, each carefully labeled in some language he did not recognize, and then had come the room full of live tarantulas and scorpions in glass cases. Now it was hamsters in glass globes. What was the world coming to? Was the creature a spy? Maybe they should have killed it… but it was gone now.
They consulted the map again and continued on their way down the dank stone hallway. They passed more rooms filled with the yellow-green gleam of Mage lights, but did not venture inside. According to the map, there should be a flight of stairs leading up from the dungeon level just around the next corner. They turned the corner and stopped suddenly. It was a dead end; there was nothing but blank wall ahead. They turned around to go back, but behind them a portcullis struck sparks off the stone floor as it dropped to the ground. They were trapped.
__________
Linnet the sorceress looked up from her book as Captain Irani approached. “Do you have them?” Linnet asked.
“They are in hero trap number two”, Irani answered.
“Nicely done. What precisely have we caught this time?”
“An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Man, armed with the traditional bow, axe, and sword. Do you wish to see them now, or shall I have them escorted to holding cells?”
Linnet sighed and pushed back her hair. “I may as well see them now. I’m not getting anywhere with Malensi’s Unknowable Magics this morning. I will see them in my audience chamber in half an hour.”
“Yes, my lady,” Captain Irani answered with a bow and left the room.
Linnet put the book aside and rose to get ready for the audience. One of the most annoying things with hero types was that they absolutely would not pay attention to her if she did not look the part. Short, rather plump, graying brown hair, and glasses was not the standard description of a sorceress so she had to change her appearance every single time she dealt with them.
She entered her quarters and went over to the mirror. She began to sing, calling power and envisaging her other form in her mind: tall, blue eyes, black hair and radiantly beautiful. It was what everyone expected a sorceress to look like if they weren’t to look like an aged hag.
She rummaged through her closet, but the usual dress seemed to have been taken away for cleaning. She eventually found the alternate on the floor at the very back of the closet and had to use a bit more magic to get the creases out of the midnight blue velvet. Finally ready, she left for the audience chamber.
The chamber was ready. The throne left by the previous king sat upon its dais. It was golden, large, heavy and sparkly. It was also uncomfortable, but that wasn’t the point. Maybe today would be a good one, and they actually catch somebody who could be retrained to something other than sitting in dungeons and running around hacking at people with swords. She sat down on the throne and waited. A black-and-white tomcat jumped onto her lap and she petted it absentmindedly.
__________
Kun Dorn followed Allin and two guards into the throne room, his heavy boots thudding against the floor while Teryllen and the other guards followed behind him. There was no point trying to be quiet now, not that he had ever been good at it to start with. This quest is a farce, he thought. The best thing that could happen to us would be getting fed to the carnivorous plants.
Two guards threw the doors to the next chamber wide. The prisoners entered, surrounded by their guards. Kun Dorn peered around the guard ahead of him. The Sorceress was sitting on a throne of gold. It looked expensive, but the workmanship left much to be desired. She was excessively tall and regally beautiful, but the effect was somewhat spoiled by the black and white cat that was rubbing its head against her hand. Somewhere in the rafters overhead small birds chirped. Whoever she was, she clearly liked animals.
“Who are you, and why have you disturbed the peace of my realm?” she demanded.
“We seek the return of the rightful heir and the end of your sorcerous tyranny,” said Allin, standing very straight and tall with his arms crossed across his chest.
“Have you met the heir?” the Sorceress inquired. “He was a drunken sot when I met him twenty years ago. My spies say he has not changed much, and I do not think he has the capacity to govern a children’s tea party, much less a realm. His father was not much better, which is why there was a rebellion in the first place.”
“The prince is not a drunken sot! – and why are the heir and his sister still in exile if they are so harmless?” replied Allin.
“The prince and his sister are still in exile because they have refused to come home unless they are allowed to rule. As for the prince’s drinking habits… how long have you known him? An afternoon?”
“Prove it!” Allin demanded.
“It matters not,” Teryllen said. He turned to the Sorceress. “What torments do you plan to inflict on us, o perilous lady?”
“That depends on you. If you persist in bribing my dogs and my guards, harassing the peasantry, and ignoring any evidence that does not fit with your own beliefs, you will take up residence in the dungeons until further notice. If you are willing to give your oath that you will leave me and mine in peace you may go on your way, or you may choose to work here. I am always looking for sensible and competent people.”
“You have dungeons full of heroes,” Allin said after a brief pause.
“True enough. But then, heroes usually show a decided lack of common sense. I suppose it’s implicit in finding anyone crazy enough to take up that sort of dangerous work.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“What sort of work were you thinking of?” Kun Dorn asked. Teryllen and Allin gave him shocked looks, but he ignored them. If the work was evil obviously he wouldn’t accept, but he wanted to know exactly what he was dealing with here. He was getting a bit tired of the Hero Business anyway. It was fun for a while and the pay was excellent when you got anything at all, but he’d never intended to spend the rest of his life doing it. Since he’d finally run out of luck, it only made sense to try and make the best of the situation.
The Sorceress grinned. “There are many options, but what you end up doing depends on your skills and abilities. You are free to resign if I ask anything of you that does not fall within your ethical sensibilities, although I can’t see why anything I would be likely to ask would be a problem.”
“Can you give me some specific examples?” Kun Dorn asked.
“Well, I am rather oversupplied with guards and men at arms at present, but anyone with experience with farming, animal or plant husbandry, forestry, or metalsmithing would be most welcome. There are other options, but those are our main needs at the moment.”
“Stop up your ears, you foolish dwarf!” said Teryllen. “Cease toying with us, foul fiend in gorgeous guise!” Kun Dorn winced. What was it with elves, alliteration and archaisms anyway?
“Show me what you’re doing here, and that you are not an evil ruler,” Kun Dorn asked.
“Certainly.” She turned to the guard captain. “Irani, could you organize the standard tour for the Dwarf here?” She turned back to Kun Dorn. “What is your name, and where do you come from?”
“I am Kun Dorn, of Clan Dortarn.”
“Dortarn of the Gray Mountains?”
“Yes. You have heard of us?”
“I have indeed. Your Clan produces some of the best specialized metal work on this side of the continent, and I use it here in some of my experiments. Do you have any skill in such things?”
“I have some, but I am no Master Smith.”
“A shame, but anything you are willing to do or teach is likely to be well received here.”
She turned her attention to Allin and Teryllen, who were standing sullenly between their guards. “You would do well to join your friend on the tour. See what I’ve done here, and judge for yourselves whether this land is governed well or poorly.”
_________
The heroes went on the tour. They wandered around farmhouses and well-kept villages before finishing off at the pub in the village below the castle. At least, that was supposed to be the end of the tour. That changed when one of the local farmers asked Captain Irani how the dragon breeding was getting along. Allin choked on his beer, spraying the table and Teryllen, who looked disgusted and began ineffectively wiping at his tunic before muttering and stalking off outside. One of the guards followed him, but neither of his friends paid attention.
“The Sorceress breeds dragons! I thought you said she wasn’t evil.” Allin said.
Kun Dorn nodded, feeling rather alarmed. Since when did dragon breeding and peaceful intentions go together? He didn’t want to wind up working for a monster.
“She keeps the dragons because you heroes keep killing them all off. The population has plummeted and there may be no more dragons in less than one hundred years unless something is done. What will keep down the pegasus population if the dragons go? Pegasi may be pretty, but they are a menace to crops and it’s impossible to build a fence high enough to keep them out.”
“You can always shoot pegasi and eat them if they start eating your crops,” Allin said. “Dragons would rather eat you.”
“Not if they’re properly conditioned,” Irani said. “We’re very careful about that here. The dragons may have an image problem, but they are actually very useful beasts. Profitable, too. As heroes, I’d imagine you are familiar with the price of premium dragon hide on the open market these days. It’s going to continue going up if you fellows keep killing them all.”
“How do you condition a dragon not to eat something that looks like dinner?” Kun Dorn asked.
“With magic, obviously. Lady Linnet is very skilled.”
After that, of course, they had to go see the dragon breeding center. It was by itself at the top of the opposite hill, well away from the village. It was a large rambling building made out of local sandstone, with iron cages attached. The cages were mostly full of young dragons. Walking around it, Kun Dorn began to appreciate why the Sorceress would desire lots of blacksmiths and other metal workers.
I wonder if she has decent iron mines around here anywhere, or if she has to import iron ore from elsewhere – perhaps even smelted metal if she doesn’t have the facilities to smelt it here. Interesting, very interesting. The joins seem strong enough, but I could do better. Not that iron will hold dragons very well if they decide to flame their way out. They must be fairly content if she’s not to get constant breakouts. Kun Dorn reached forward to tap one of the iron bars.
“Don’t!” yelled Captain Irani.
Kun Dorn drew his hand back. “Why not?” he asked.
“The magical field reaches the bars. It wouldn’t kill you, but it would give you a nasty shock if you touched it. It’s the field which keeps the dragons in. I mentioned it two minutes ago – weren’t you listening?”
“I was examining the metal work so I didn’t hear,” Kun Dorn said.
“There is a lot of weird stuff around here. It’s safe enough if you know what you doing, but you need to pay attention to what I say.”
“I’ll be more careful in future. Thank you for warning me,” said Kun Dorn, wondering again about the Sorceress. Everything seemed ok, but how could he be certain? He’d only just come from making a mistake about the Heir and he did not intend to make the same mistake twice. Still, if he was allowed to quit whenever he wanted, where was the catch? It certainly sounded safer than heroing.
Irani shook his head and smiled. “Don’t worry about it; but do pay more attention.”
That evening, the three heroes sat in the locked guest chamber and talked about their future plans. Perhaps ‘talked’ was too polite a word.
“Why are you going to work for her?” Allin asked. “She’s a sorceress, she breeds dragons, she keeps poisonous spiders and carnivorous plants as pets and her dungeons are full of heroes. She may speak us fair but I cannot bring myself to trust her.”
“I’ve been heroing longer than you have,” Kun Dorn answered, “and I think I ought to retire while I’m ahead – or perhaps I should say, while I still have a head! She hasn’t asked me to do anything evil, I won’t be required to work with poisonous spiders and it doesn’t honestly look like she’s oppressing the people.”
“It is not right to switch allegiance to the enemy of the person that hired you. It is dishonorable.”
“Sometimes I think you use your sense of honor as an excuse for not thinking,” Kun Dorn replied. “We should have looked into the situation more thoroughly before we took on this job. I don’t intend to get another job in the Hero Business, so why should I care what my former employer says about me?”
Allin threw his hands up in exasperation. “Fine! You do as you will. You always do anyway. I will remain true to my word.” Beside him, Teryllen nodded in agreement.
“And go and sit in a dungeon and rot. Well, it’s your choice. I’ve made mine.”
___________
Three years later Kun Dorn was coming home after a long day spent working on improving steel alloys. Just past the pub, he saw Allin. He almost dropped his lunch box. “Allin,” he cried, “what are you doing here?”
“I got tired of sitting in the dungeon so I’ve given my oath that I will not fight against the Sorceress. I’m leaving tomorrow. How are you finding working for her?”
“It’s going very well. The dragons seem to have taken the conditioning properly and really are harmless. I also convinced a couple of my cousins to come and join us here and we’re getting a steel industry started.”
“I’m glad your choice went well.”
“How’s Teryllen?” Kun Dorn asked, switching the empty lunchbox to his other hand.
“Still in there. He says he’s going to outlive her.”
“Silly elf. Oh well, I suppose he can afford it. What are you planning to do now you’re free?”
“Go somewhere as far away from Balmaghi as possible, to somewhere heroes are actually useful. Next time I will do my research before agreeing to anything!”
“Indeed,” Kun Dorn laughed. “I suspect even Teryllen learned that lesson. How would you like to come to dinner?”
“Why not? I’m sure your table must be more interesting than that of the dungeons. The cook there thinks baked beans go with everything. You wouldn’t believe what it does to the atmosphere…”
At dinner that night they drank a toast to the Sorceress of Balmaghi. Balmaghi stands to this day, and it still has both its Sorceress and its dragons.